Navigating professional challenges can feel daunting when your usual methods of coping fail. Friction with colleagues, performance setbacks, economic pressures – these issues can linger and even permeate teams. In times of turbulence, a fresh perspective is needed to build resilience. But where can you start?
Author Byron Katie provided just that with her notion that, “When you are perfectly clear, what is…is the same as what you want.”
While this may sound like a description of what it’s like to be insanely rich, it’s not about achieving all your goals.
Instead, this idea carries powerful implications for managing mindsets when facing adversity. Here is a 3-step, experimental approach to embrace clarity and acceptance:
Step 1: Taking Stock
Begin by taking stock of your immediate surroundings through your senses – the feeling of your feet on the floor, the airflow from the vent, the muffled voices down the hall. Include the observation that you reading this on a screen. Make note of these concrete facts and sensations that comprise your present-moment experience.
Next, turn attention inward. What thoughts, emotions, and social dynamics are swirling within at this time? Name each aspect, from fleeting feelings to charged exchanges with colleagues. These intangible factors also constitute your reality right now.
Let’s mentally label them a pile of stuff you are “Having.”
- “Wanting” One at a Time
Now comes the transformative step: transitioning from “having” to “wanting.” After acknowledging each element of your experience, pause and consciously shift into a state of desire. Embrace the desire for what you have, whether it’s this article, your emotions, or even unwelcome sensations like a screen that is too dim.
The key here is to practice acceptance and embrace every facet of your experience, even the ones you’d typically resist. It’s a form of mental jiu-jitsu, where you actively notice a fact, and the feelings around “Wanting” it.
This “having-then-wanting” can transform even the most awful moments.
- Building Resilience for Future Challenges
While seemingly simple, the true challenge lies in applying this framework during times of stress. That’s why proactive practice is crucial. Think of it as training for your personal mental Olympics. By regularly practicing “having-then-wanting” in calmer moments, you build inner strength and resilience for when the next hurdle arises.
Notice that in these high-pressure moments, unwanted thoughts forcefully occupy our minds, followed by negative feelings and sensations in our bodies. As we respond, we ignore our inner state in order to survive.
Now imagine embracing, i.e. “Wanting” each of these elements. These could keep us from denying the truth of situations such as the January 6th insurrection. Many are not “Having” it – denying eyewitness testimony and video tapes.
But this isn’t just for you; it’s a team leadership superpower. By collectively acknowledging reality and embracing experiences, you’ll bounce back from setbacks faster and remain grounded when faced with adversity. Imagine the collaborative power of a team where everyone accepts “what is” and works together to navigate it.
Ultimately, this approach empowers you to face stress with grace and emerge stronger. Remember, you would now have the tools to weather any storm. Embrace the practice, cultivate resilience, and forge ahead with confidence, knowing you possess the inner strength to find calm amidst the chaos, even when challenges feel overwhelming.